Very late August issue | personal storms, self-care, and monthly rec(s)

Whether you're a beautiful stranger or a human I know, I'm equally glad you're here. Now pour yourself a glass of your favorite liquid – hope it's wine, but no pressure – and let's get started.

I hate being late with publications and yet I am ridiculously good at it. It’s mid-September already and I’m finally here, typing like crazy, eager to tell you what’s up.

To be honest, August wasn’t very kind to me. I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit in many aspects of my life. I’ve been adjusting to my new job. I was worried about my mom and my grandparents. I wasn’t feeling great physically and, therefore, mentally. As a result, I had to slow down a bit and focus on self-care (as cheesy and LA as it sounds). I’ve been in my introverted era most of the time this month, and if I’m honest, I feel like I need a few more weeks of slow and quiet to get back to normal. And I’m sharing this because I believe that talking about lowlights of our lives is just as important as talking about highlights. It’s comforting, it’s relatable, but most importantly – it’s real. And real is all I’m trying to be here.

On a positive note, my August storm helped me realize how important it is to have things in life that are my personal source of comfort, energy, and calm. To me, it’s reading fiction, working out, buying flowers and arrange them in bouquets, cuddling with my husband and my dog, taking long walks for no other reason than to have a long walk, soaking in a hot bath for a little too long.

Simple things for times that are not.

If life has taught me anything, it is that you need to have this list of things that fills your cup. And it’s helpful to have it written down somewhere, like in a note on your phone, so you can always refer to it when needed. So, maybe it’s a sign for you to make a list of your own (feel free to steal an idea or two from mine).

Idea of the month

This one, I owe to my friend Kris and (wait for it!) parents of Olsen sisters. If not for Kris, I wouldn’t have a video with this idea in my IG direct. If not for Olsen’s parents, this idea would not become a video Kris would one day share with me.

I’m one of those ridiculous people who’s always struggled with saying ‘no’ to others. In most cases, I say ‘yes’ even when I don’t really feel like it. And in rare cases when I do say ‘no’, it’s always followed by an explanation or an excuse. And I know it’s not healthy. And I’m working on it. And I guess that’s the reason why these five words resonated with me so deeply.

‘No’ is a full sentence. You don’t always have to explain yourself. How liberating!

Monthly rec(s)

To watch

If our Netflix recommendations are anything alike, chances are you’ve already watched ‘The Perfect Couple’ starring Nicole Kidman, Dakota Fanning, and Meghann Fahy. But if for some reason you haven’t, you absolutely should. First, it’s a mini-series (which means no cliff-hanger kind of ending that leaves you feeling hooked and irritated in equal measure). Second, the story unravels on the island of Nantucket – a destination as iconic as Martha’s Vineyards, the Hamptons or Cape Cod. Third, the cast is amazing.

If you liked ‘White Lotus’, ‘Big Little Lies’, ‘'Nine perfect strangers’ – this one’s for you. Even though the plot is kind of tragic, the way the story’s told is borderline hilarious. I loved it and I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy watching it, too.

To read

August was a good month book-wise. I’ve read 4 novels, and 3 of them turned out to be not only readable but also enjoyable and recommendable. But only one of the books touched me so deeply I’ve been thinking about the characters for days.

‘Fault Lines’ by Emily Itami is a story so complex and so simple at the same time. It’s about modern Tokyo, love and how it transforms with time, marriage and affairs, falling into temptations, and finding way back to yourself by taking a path that’s bumpy and dangerous yet the only one possible, or at least so it feels.

There were so many beautiful lines and paragraphs in the story, at some point I got bored highlighting them. I might as well highlighted the entire book. As per tradition, below are a few of my favorite quotes to give you the taste of it and, hopefully, add it to your list of must read books.

‘Eloise was a total catch, captivating and gorgeous, and in a combination of her very good English and my pretty abysmal high school French, made more fluent with alcohol, we giggled like schoolgirls who’d known each other forever.’

‘The art of walking like a normal person seems to have deserted me, and it takes all my concentration not to walk like a robot, or break into a run, or, most importantly, turn around. I wonder if he’s watching me.’

‘I never really saw myself as the marrying type. Tatsuya is the one-night stand that has lasted sixteen years.’

‘Tokyo, if it doesn’t provide an answer to my angst, at least has the effect of making me forget the question.’

‘I used to be a world-class flirt. It was my absolute favorite form of entertainment. Back in the day, I used to try it on strangers for the sole purpose of keeping my hand in, like Holly Golightly practicing kleptomania. And now I have the conversational skill of a cod.’

‘I’ll tell you a couple of things about that first night that I knew, really, but pretended I didn’t. The way he was the first person in years who thought about the answers to the questions I asked him and looked right at me when he replied. And the way I knew exactly where in my chest my heart was, evert time he said my name.’

‘I feel disoriented, as if I’ve watched several films in a row at the cinema and emerged to find it’s still daylight.’

‘Therapy isn’t really a thing in Tokyo; you do what you do, and if you really can’t take it anymore, you take the honorable way out and leaver your shoes neatly paired at the edge of the bridge when you go.’

To listen

As someone who listens on average 1,5-2 podcast episodes per day, every month I have a problem selecting one recommendation to add to this newsletter. I didn’t have this problem this month, though. There was one podcast that moved me so deeply I actually cried. For the record, I don’t normally cry listening to podcasts.

So, my recommendation this month is a 3-episode audio essay ‘Glass’ written and narrated by one of my favorite podcasters Michelle Andrews. It’s a very personal and honest story about infertility and womanhood. I cannot imagine how much bravery it takes to share it with the world, but I can imagine how many women around the world found comfort listening to it.

Final thoughts

If you made it to the very last scroll (by actually reading, not just scrolling!), I want you to know that I appreciate you so much. It’s the idea of you, human on the other side of the screen, is what motivates me to come back here even when I don’t have energy or inspiration to write. And the funny thing is that oftentimes it works the other way around. I have to force myself to sit down and write. And then once it’s done, I feel more inspired and more energized than I was before I started. If that’s not magic, then what is?

Sending you hugs and a bit of Californian sunshine (if that’s what you’re missing in your corner of the world this fall).

See you in a month. ♦