July issue | new routine, male vs female friendship, and monthly rec(s)
Whether you're a beautiful stranger or a human I know, I'm equally glad you're here. Now pour yourself a glass of your favorite liquid – hope it's wine, but no pressure – and let's get started.
I blinked and it’s August. Time is ridiculous.
I guess one of the things I like about this newsletter is that it forces me to sit down and spend time reflecting on what’s been going on in the past 30 days or so.
So, what’s been going on in July?
A lot, but mostly this: writing, reading, working out, spending quality time with humans and dogs that I like. And as simple as it is, I guess this is my formula of happiness at this stage of life.
Writing a book is a long-term project that fills my life with a sense of purpose. Reading is my favorite way to escape into worlds that are different from my own. Working out makes me ridiculously happy and, as a bonus, makes my body look good. And quality time with people and dogs I love…well, this does not need any explanation.
The other day my husband and I were on walk, talking about knowing/not knowing what we want from this life. And I realized that not only do I know what I want, but I also am lucky to have most of it already. And it doesn’t mean my life is perfect (nobody’s life is). Sometimes I don’t feel good physically or mentally, sometimes I worry about not finding a good job, sometimes I have dreams of my hometown that terrify me, sometimes I feel sad or angry or frustrated. Sometimes I cry. But in the great scheme of things, it’s still a beautiful life. And I’m learning to recognize it and appreciate it a little more.
Idea of the month
In May issue, we talked about how slow is the new fast. In June issue, we’ve been thinking of how our world is a museum of passion projects. And in July, as per tradition, I’m coming back with another idea I found worth sharing.
Female friendship is face-to-face. Male friendship is shoulder-to-shoulder.
I heard it in one of the episodes of ‘Shameless’ podcast, and I’ve been absolutely fascinated by how true it is. It’s no breaking news that men and women are different in so many ways, but I’ve never given much thought to what it means in a context friendship.
But if you think the way you spend time with your friends, you’ll likely see it is true. Being a woman, I spend most of the time with my girlfriends sitting in front of each other, face-to-face, listening and talking. When I watch my husband or my male friends spend time together, they usually sit shoulder-to-shoulder while watching something or engage in some activities that are, well, shoulder-to-shoulder.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that one way of being friends is better than the other. In fact, I genuinely believe that both are beautiful and rewarding in their own right. But hearing this idea made me realize that sometimes we can deliberately break this pattern just to try something new and see how it makes us feel. Maybe us girls can have a lot more fun engaging in some shoulder-to-shoulder friendship every once in a while. And maybe you, my dear male readers, can choose face-to-face a little more often because it’s beautiful. I promise.
Monthly rec(s)
to watch
It’s a funny thing about life in LA. Being a home of the industry, this city makes you obsessed with movies. And I don’t resist this. I very much embrace it.
So every month my husband and I go see at least 2 or 3 movies on the big screen. This month was no exception, and I’m sharing with you my July favorite.
‘Quiet place: Day One’ is a prequel to another great movie (two movies, really) written by John Krasinski (the one and only Jim Halpert from ‘The Office’). The first two movies feature a post-apocalyptic world where the only way to survive is to know how to live life quietly.
‘Quiet place: Day One’, in its turn, tells the story of what exactly happened to our planet. I expected it to be more of a horror movie, but it turned out to be a story of how a catastrophe can unite people and make them more humane. It’s the story of kindness and our ability to adjust to whatever comes our way.
Also, I could not take my eyes off the main character played so beautifully by Lupita Nyong'o. Her cat was quite cool, too!
to read
I’ve got a beautiful book recommendation for you this month. It’s “The Descendants” by Kaui Hart Hemmings and even though I’ve read it over three months ago, I still can’t get over it.
If not for my writing teacher Melanie, I would have never picked it up. It’s been published in 2007, when I was still in high school, and then it’s been adapted for a movie starring George Clooney a couple years later. I missed the book when it came out, and I somehow missed the movie, too. Now, in 2024, nobody talks about it on TikTok or IG, and no bookclub I know of has it as a their pick of the month.
But since we have a tiny little bookclub of our own here, I figured I can help this novel resurface one more time.
So, here’s my pitch.
You’re in Hawaii, and you’re in a head of a witty Matt King (character played by George Clooney). Matt’s wife is in coma after a terrible accident, Matt suspects she wasn’t very faithful (but he can’t be mad at a woman in coma, or can he?) and now he was two kids to take care of (which is something he’s been successfully avoiding up until recently).
We follow Matt on his journey of discovering his wife’s secrets, trying to figure out his relationships with two daughters, as well as solving a landownership dilemma that may affect the future of Hawaiian islands.
I’ll give you a few of my favorite quotes just so you understand the vibe, but I promise you will FLY through this book. It’s amazing.
“I hate get-well cards. It’s like telling someone to have a safe flight. There’s really not a whole lot you can do.”
“Anyway, I don’t like legacies. I think everyone should start from scratch.”
“Troy isn’t wearing a shirt. He never wears a shirt. The man has muscles I did not even know existed. He’s athletic, rich, and dumb, with eyes the color of a hotel swimming pool. The exact kind of person my wife befriends.”
“The security line is longer than it should be. Still, most of the people in line seem content, which is irritating. There’s nothing worse than being angry and seeing tranquil faces all around you.”
“I lie back and watch a beautiful celebrity accept an award for playing an ugly woman.”
to listen to
Ok, this one needs a little backstory.
Last summer, it looked like everyone I was following on Instagram at the time was obsessed with Fred Again.. I remember typing his name in Spotify, listening to a few most popular tracks, thinking something like: okaaaay.
Then, half a year later, I was talking to my good friend Mary, and I asked her to explain to me Fred Again because I was not getting it. Mary gave me the most genius response: “But you don’t really listen to techno music, right? So why would you get it?”
“And this is a very good point,” I replied and we switched the subject.
And then, two days ago, my husband sent me this link. And I’ve been listening to it on repeat ever since. And I’m not planning to stop anytime soon.
It’s beautiful, it’s addictive, and it makes you productive as fuck if you listen to it while working.
to follow
A new morning routine and see if it makes any difference.
Ever since I moved to California, I was determined to do something about my morning routine. I’m not a morning person at all (and not aiming to be!), no book in the world irritated me more than ‘Miracle Morning’ by Hal Elrod (this is not a recommendation!), but still, I felt like I wanted my morning to change.
I didn’t like myself for spending the first half an hour of my morning doomscrolling. I mean, my brain liked it, but in a very fucked-up way. I wanted this to change but I couldn’t find enough willpower in me to do so.
And then I fell sick for a week or two, and somehow I just did not feel like checking my phone first thing in the morning. And then, when I started to feel better, I realized this is a good opportunity to keep this good habit alive. So…now it’s been three weeks of my phone-free mornings. I wake up, I shower, I do my stupid skincare routine, and I drink a glass of warm mineral water while soaking in the sun on our backyard. Then I take Frankie outside, walk for 10-15 minutes, and then come back home for my breakfast and coffee. And it’s only then, when I make myself something to eat, is when I check my phone.
Overall, it’s less than an hour of phone-free life, but boy or boy what a difference it makes. The most interesting thing for me is to notice what I’m thinking about in the morning when my thoughts aren’t shaped by what I’ve seen and watched and read upon waking up.
Highly recommend!
the final thoughts
I haven’t checked, but I think it’s the longest newsletter I’ve written so far. If it’s so, then forgive me for being so wordy. It’s funny how sometimes I stare at the blank page and it’s staring back at me and neither of us don’t know where to start. But then I begin typing and the opposite problem occurs: I cannot stop.
Anyways, thank you for sticking with me.
I see you and I appreciate you more than you know. ♦
Oo, I love the idea of phone-free mornings! Definitely going to give that a try. I need it.