Feb-Mar in review | motivation, long-distance friendships, and monthly rec(s)
Whether you're a beautiful stranger or a human I know, I'm equally glad you're here. Now pour yourself a glass of your favorite liquid, sit down somewhere quiet and let's get started.
The reason you couldn’t find a February issues of this newsletter in your inbox is because I never sent it. The reason I never sent it is because I never wrote it. The reason I never wrote it is, well.. there are many. The main one, though, is that February is a ridiculously short month that ended before I got a chance to sit down and write.
The ugly truth about content creation
In full transparency, I struggle to find motivation. There are over seventy beautiful people subscribed to this letter, and I am so grateful for this audience. I mean, seventy people! A crowd large enough to not be able to fit in our 2-bedroom apartment. But I would be lying if I said that it doesn’t bother me how this newsletter isn’t growing at all. And I know, I know, in order for it to grow, I need to create considerably more content. But to have energy to create, I need some feedback, of which I don’t have plenty.
So here I am, trapped inside the vicious circle. Feeling exhausted but not because of doing too much. I feel exhausted from not doing enough. Does it make any sense at all? Can anyone relate?
I know, I know. I should just focus on the most important part of it, which is writing. I should not worry about whether or not someone’s going to read it and like it and share it with a friend or two. It’s so materialistic of me to even bother. And yet. I have almost no feedback. And feedback is a fuel. And we all need some to keep going.
The other day my ex-colleague reached out to me, asking for a small favor. So casually, he mentioned reading my newsletter and really liking my book recs. And guess what? If not for his little remark, I’m not sure I’d be writing this at all. Sometimes all it takes is one person and a few kind words. How little. How funny. How true.
All this to say: I’m sorry I’ve been MIA for two month. And if that’s any consolation, I’m back with a double portion of recommendations. But first, I’ve got more thoughts to share, so bear with me.
Why doesn’t anyone talk about long-distance friendships being so exhausting?
The other day my girlfriends and I had a conversation about how much of a burden it sometimes is to maintain long-distance friendships online. Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends. And I am so grateful to have them in my life. But the problem is that 90 percent of my close friendships now exist in a form or voice notes, messages, and extremely rare FaceTime calls. And while there is nothing wrong with such means of communication per se, when online is the only format you have, it gets exhausting to a point it feels like a job. And maybe it is.
I noticed that whenever I sit down to plan my week, my to-do list contains tasks like “respond to a voice message from X” and “write a substantial email response to Y." And the reason I need such reminders for myself is that oftentimes I don’t have time to respond to something immediately. And then it’s the end of the day and I do have time, but don’t have energy. And then when I do have time and energy, I realize it’s already been a week of me not responding, and so I start worrying about being a terrible friend.
As you can probably tell, I’ve given this topic a lot of thought. The conclusion I came to is this: we need at least half of our friendships to exist offline. We need real human connection, time spent together walking and talking or cooking and eating or doing anything at all that’s happening here and now, in a physical world. Because as much as I hate to admit it, no phone call or voice message or FaceTime can fill our cup the same way a face-to-face interaction can. And for my long-distance friendships to thrive, I need my social battery charged. And, unfortunately, I don’t think a ton of online communication can do the trick.
Next time it’s my birthday, I’m going to make a wish for at least half of my favorite people to live in the same city as me. And no, I don’t want to hear it’s impossible. I choose to trust the universe to find a way.
Idea(s) of the month(s)
February idea
This one belongs to one of the yoga teachers I workout with via Apple Fitness + app. Every time we are in the middle of some really intense exercise and my muscles are burning and all I want to do is turn that goddamn Apple TV off she says a phrase that makes me stay and finish that fucking round. Here’s what she says.
What doesn’t challenge you, doesn’t change you.
Even though I’m a hedonist by nature and I very much believe that life shouldn’t feel like a challenge all the time, lately I’ve come to realize that challenging times are necessary for growth. And this realization is what makes me keep going when a voice in my head shouts “quit!”
March idea
Another idea that’s been taking a lot of air time in my head is about writing. I’ve heard it many times in podcasts and YouTube interviews, I’ve read about it in books. I was reminded of it when I started my fiction writing classes at UCLA. And yet it’s only now, when I have about 120 pages of my first draft, I start to really understand how true it is. Ready?
The only way to learn how to write a book is to write a book.
There are some things in life you can muster by watching other people do it and/or learning the theory. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately!) writing books is not one of those things. You can study the craft, you can listen to lectures of the world’s greatest writers, you can get you MFA, but…the only way to learn how to write a book is to write a book. And so I’m learning it now. And, hopefully, in a year or two, I’ll join the ranks of those who know. And then I’ll tell you all about it.
Monthly rec(s)
To read
“What Alice forgot” by Liane Moriarty
Oh, this one got me so intrigued guys. I don’t know just how much to tell you without the risk of spoiling the plot, so I’ll tell you this: it is a story told by an unreliable narrator who, chapter by chapter, becomes more and more reliable. And there is a very medical reason for that. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the humor. It was one of those books that made me laugh out loud, and I almost woke my husband up in the middle of the night because of it. Highly recommend!
A book like this happens to me only once or twice a year. The kind I feel so deeply, the one I cannot put down until the dawn because…how can I? It is a story of two people obsessed with music but even more so with each other. And how combined with foolishness of youth this can become a roadblock on the way to happy relationships. Honestly, this one reads like a child of “One day” by David Nicholls, “Normal people” by Sally Rooney and “Daisy Jones & The Six” by Taylor Jenkins Reid. And, somehow, it manages to take the best of all three worlds and merge them into one that is unique. Love, love, love.
To watch
“Zero Day” with Robert De Niro
I don’t know what it says about me but for some reason I love stories about Washington DC and conspiracy theories and the world coming to an end, with the first bricks falling somewhere around the White House. “Zero Day” is the story of the biggest cyberattack on the US in history of both – the US and cyberattacks. And the dirty political games played behind the scenes. If not for the politics of it, watch it for Robert De Niro playing a former US president. It’s so refreshing to see someone smart and ethical and also handsome being an American president.
“Daddio” with Dakota Johnson
I watched this one on a plane, a little while ago, flying back home from NYC. And it turned out to be the movie so special I still feel the aftertaste months later. The whole story is just a cab ride from JFK to some brownstone in Manhattan and a conversation that happens between the passenger (Dakota Johnson) and the driver (Sean Penn). It’s crazy how much one conversation can reveal. If you like the “Before” Trilogy of Richard Linklater or “Last Night” featuring Kiera Knightly and Guillaume Canet, give this one a try.
To listen to
“Morning Brew Daily”
If you like to listen to news podcasts but can no longer take it to listen to classic news podcasts because we live in 2025 and the world’s gone mad, give “Morning Brew Daily” a try. This one still covers major headlines and discusses most recent news from the world of business, politics, and tech, but the vibe is different. The hosts have great chemistry, the scripts are always fun to listen to, and the vibe is much lighter.
“Big Small Talk” episode on burnout from the news cycle
If you feel like the news cycle has swallowed you whole, if you can no longer keep up with the breaking news headlines neither physically nor mentally, this episode of Big Small Talk should help. The hosts discuss why going offline or plugging out of news is vital and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re becoming ignorant. I found this listen very refreshing and I hope you will too.
To wrap things up
It must be illegal to write newsletter that long, but this is the kind of crime I’m happy to commit. Gosh it feels good to be back in my chair, typing like crazy, sharing the highlights of my content consumption and some of my random thoughts with you. If you made it this far, to the very last paragraph, I guess it means you like what’s going on here. And if you do, please-please share a link to this newsletter with someone who you think might enjoy it.
Thank you in advance! It means the world to me. ♦
Long distance relationships suck I agree, but don’t ditch us please 😭😭😭😭😂
“What Alice forgot”! I bought and will read it